Saturday, March 05, 2005

Twins Split Squad Saturday

Split squad today. Some rookies and those who drew the short straws took the bus up to play the Pirates in Bradenton, a three-hour round trip. Might not be so bad if LeCroy is in back, because at least you know there'll be plenty of laughs and enough Hostess treats for everybody, but Matty got to stay home this time. Bummer, kids. Well, maybe Lew Ford brought his spare GameBoy or didn't mind sharing his i-Pod on the way up. Plus Boof Bonser was on board, and if you can't fill three hours tormenting some prospect who calls himself "Boof," well, you just have no business being in the big leagues.

In the game, Scott Baker apparently got his first start of the spring (if you believe the box score), or else it was Scott Tyler (if you believe the recap). I'll trust the box and report that Baker threw 2 perfect innings against the Pirates starters, and Boof and Dave "No Respect, I Tell Ya" Gassner followed up with 2 scoreless innings of their own. Jason Bartlett, our heir apparent at shortstop, hit a single, a double, and got hit by a pitch. Jacque Jones and backup Catcher Gabby Torres added two hits. Michael Cuddyer gets special mention in the recap for robbing the Bucs of a couple hits down 3rd base way. Oh, the final was a 6-2 Twins win. I almost forgot to mention it.

The kids who got to stay in Fort Myers took on their neighbors, the Red Sox, and ran them off the field like they weren't nothin' but so many Kansas City Royals. 12-7. What, you got somethin' to say, Papi? Papi. Sheee-it. What was wrong with calling you "The Big O," anyway? No, Koskie isn't here to buddy up to you anymore. There's nobody preaching about the virtues of mercy and the blessed meek. The gloves are off, big boy. The Twins will be bringin' it this year. Go tell your friends. Oh, and Dougie gave us the real World Series ball for safekeeping until the heat blows over. So we have that going for us, too.

Where was I? Oh... yeah, I meant to tune in to listen to this game, but only turned it on just in time to hear the Dazzle Man say something about Juan Castro making a dazzling play to rob someone of a hit up the middle--news which cheered me because Guzy pretty much NEVER did that--but then apparently he also botched some routine play. Meh. Looks like Brad Radke had a pretty good start. Francisco Liriano gave up 4 runs in the 5th inning, but got credit for the Win. The Rule 5 kid pitched the final two innings, allowing 1 run on 3 hits and no walks, 2 strikeouts. LeCroy and Jason Tyner hit home runs, while Michael Restovich, Terry Tiffee, Todd "I Am" Dunwoody, and Tyner all got into a multi-hit groove. ESPN has an amusing photo of Rivas fishing around for a loose groundball. Maybe I'll paste that in here later, or not. It's a Saturday in early March. One hopes that it's not the last time the Twins score a dozen runs or we can giggle at Tattoo Louiee's expense, right?


At 11/17/2005 3:22 AM, Anonymous sandy springs said...

Voodoo Enronomics

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

Communism: You have two cows. You must take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

Enron Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt-equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred through an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The Enron annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.


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