Sunday, March 06, 2005

Santana Sunday

"Johan was good," Twins manager Ron Gardenhire said. "He threw the ball well. The ball was jumping all over the place."

"My first outing since October -- I think it was pretty good," said Santana, who threw 26 pitches, including 10 in a 1-2-3 second inning. "The most important thing is my arm is fine and my legs are good. Health-wise, I'm fine. Last year at this point, I was below [normal]. It's not even close to what it was last year."

There's the best news I've seen today. First outing on the spring schedule, and Cy breezes through and doesn't even feel a kink. He also told reporters he'd worked on all his pitches, and even struck out a man on a 3-2 changeup. Is it just a coincidence that temps pushed 60 in the Twin Cities today, or was that God smiling about His favorite creation? Well, I'm no theologian. I couldn't even get past the riddle of how many angels can stand on the head of a pin, or why they'd bother with the exercise in the first place. I jes liksa me baseball, super happy fun. I'll leave the hard questions to the more learned among you. Feel free to discuss.

It was another big day for the Tyner and Dunwoody College Expo: I-Am-Dunwoody even took Roy Halladay deep. ROCHESTER, NEW YORK! Are you ready for this?!?? JC Romero pitched two scoreless frames in the 5th and 6th. Unfortunately, JD Durbin got rocked for 3 runs on 5 hits and 2 walks in the 3rd and 4th, allowing a home run to Gabe Gross and even throwing a couple wild pitches. Worse, he didn't cover home plate on the second wild pitch--which stirred the wrath of Gardy. And about the last thing The Real Deal needs on a day like that is to ride the 130 miles back from Dunedin with the manager stewing over that kind of incident. Keep ya head up, Dealer. Stay in the game. The "little things" are a Big Deal to these people. You stay home with the family instead of going to a ballgame on Mother's Day or Easter, you keep the hot dish separate from the Jell-O, you never pay full price for anything, and you always remember to cover your bases and back up the throw. Do these things, and you'll get along fine in the Norseland. Someday.


At 11/17/2005 2:49 AM, Anonymous house said...

10 Ways to Annoy Cops

Say, "Damn, officer, you must have been going fast to keep up with me!"
When he approaches you, stare at his gut and say, "Hmmm. I thought cops had to be physically fit."
Sway and ask if his bulletproof vest protects him from projectile vomiting.
Lie on the ground and ask him to draw your outline in chalk.
Throw his nightstick and tell the police dog to fetch it.
Ask him if you can use his pepper spray to spice up your pizza.
Tell him you wanted to be a cop, but decided to graduate high school instead.
When he asks you to walk the line, "Riverdance" instead.
Instead of pleading the 5th amendment, plead the 13th or 16th.
When he asks for your license, say, "Oh sure, officer, can you hold me beer for a sec?"


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