Friday, June 02, 2006

More Fun with Dick & Bert

Transcripting some choice commentary by the Twins TV broadcast team Thursday night:

2nd inning

BERT: The Twins have a very good hitting team, but when you're always 3 runs behind, it put a lot of pressure on the offense in April.

Tony Batista up to bat...

DICK: Through 2 months of the season, I think it's safe to say, Bert, that Batista has probably given the Twins what they were anticipating. (Pitch:) A pop-up to short Center. In fact, it's behind the 2nd base bag.

Frank Thomas up to bat in the bottom of the inning...

DICK: As the Twins were in the market during the offseason for some help in the DH spot, Thomas was one of the names considered. And Thomas has hit some home runs, he's hit 11 of them, but that's about all he's done. (Two pitches later:) Thomas with 34 hits, 11 home runs, 3 doubles. That's hit a long way. Number twelve for Frank Thomas.

3rd inning, after Torii Hunter has caught a ball on the warning track

BERT: Well, a lot of room in Oakland. We talked about the foul territory, 400 feet to straightaway Center.... (Note: 400 feet is the standard minimum distance to the fence in straight Centerfield in the majors. It's 408 feet in the Metrodome. So at home, Hunter would have tracked down the fly before stepping within 5 feet of the warning track.)

4th inning

DICK: We were talking about Scott Baker and his start the other night. Bonser works at such, more of a rapid pace. We talked about Baker and his lack of tempo; Bonser seems to have it.

BERT: I think that goes with a lot of confidence too, Dick. Sometimes when you feel like you're struggling out there, you may take a little more time. And that's one thing that Scott Baker needs to do, going back to Rochester, is find that confidence again.

I don't suppose it's occurred to either one of them, how Baker's confidence might have been undermined.

5th inning

DICK: Talking about Batista before... He came to the Twins and, I think, has delivered as advertised. He's fielded his position to the point where, if it's hit at him, he almost always makes the play. (Quick aside:) Does not have much range. And is on a pace now to hit 15 home runs and drive in 60-some runs. And the average coming into the game at about .250, about, I think, what the Twins were expecting.

BERT: Yeah, consistency playing 3rd base, and occasional power. And that's what Batista provides.

6th inning

After Bonser began the inning by hitting Jason Kendall with a pitch and then grooving a fastball which Mark Kotsay smacked over the Rightfield wall, there was a curious lack of criticism of Bonser for giving a free pass to the leadoff batter or leaving a meatball over the plate for Kotsay to savor. After a decent period of mourning had passed, however...

DICK: I don't know... In trying to summarize what Bonser has done here, I guess the word that comes to my mind is that he's been aggressive. He's thrown strikes, he's gotten ahead of hitters, he hasn't dawdled on the mound at all. He looks very much like a guy who belongs in a major league rotation.

BERT: Well, he wants to be here....

Oh, so that's the secret!

7th inning, picking up the theme

DICK: He just looks like he belongs, his expression and the way he carries himself out there.

BERT: He took a little walk right there, a little upset at himself, maybe, but right back on that rubber.

DICK: And he delivers a strike to fill the count on Johnson. It's a matter of pride if you're coming through the Twins system, if you can pitch this deep into a ballgame and not issue a walk. I'm sure that's the last thing he wants to do here in the 7th. (Pitch:) Johnson touches one off. It's high, and it's deep, and it's gone. The third home run allowed by Boof Bonser.....


At 6/03/2006 8:54 AM, Blogger SBG said...

Good Stuff, fw.

At 6/03/2006 9:15 AM, Blogger Moss said...

Dunno about Dick's and Bert's timing, but the A's timing is impressive!

At 6/04/2006 9:27 AM, Anonymous bjhess said...

Superb. This could turn in to your bread-and-butter.

At 6/04/2006 5:44 PM, Blogger Leslie Monteiro said...

I thought Bert was out of line saying that Boof wants to be here. You don't think Scott wants to be there too. I can understand calling out Lohse, but calling up Scott.

I do agree with Dick that Batista has done a solid job and I do agree the hitting has been good.

I hate to say this, but I rather listen to Gordo and the Dazzleman.

BTW, the Twins hitting has been a disaster in this series. Thank God Morneau came through or this team got swept.

At 6/05/2006 9:23 AM, Blogger spycake said...

Thanks frightwig! Thankfully I don't get cable TV right now, and the radio announcers are more tolerable.

You don't happen to have Bert's "Paula Abdul" moment captured in audio or video form, do you? Or the alleged George Brett / shower comments?

At 6/05/2006 3:07 PM, Blogger frightwig said...

spycake, I think I taped over that game, but I'll check. I can assure you, however, that Bert really did make some off-color allusions to taking a shower with George Brett and "a roomful of men," while he was talking to Ace Young. I hope somebody who subscribes to will look it up and transcribe it. It would be worth recording for posterity.

At 6/05/2006 11:54 PM, Blogger Leslie Monteiro said...

I am a MLB.TV subscriber, fright. MLB.TV had the Angels announcers all three nights last week when the Twins play Anaheim.

Bert can make me laugh sometimes.

At 6/06/2006 11:30 AM, Blogger SBG said...

By the way, the George Brett deal came up because Ace revealed that he was named after George Brett (I think he said his first name was Brett). So, he reveals this and Bert goes off on his story about showering with Brett. Surreal. Too much Coors Light that night.

At 6/08/2006 12:43 AM, Anonymous Bremerton mom said...

What are your twinkies doing to the mariners tonight??????????
Jamie had a win until the grand slam! Too bad that if we win soriano will get the win!!! Ouch!

At 6/08/2006 1:07 AM, Anonymous Bremerton mom said...

what a night ... carl baby hit the walk off! it took extras but it got done.

At 6/08/2006 10:33 AM, Anonymous margin said...

hilarious! yes, please continue these segments when possible.


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